So, I think I am getting ahold on my feelings about my family. My brothers to be exact. Right now they are cought up in "their" lives and seem not to have time for anything but their own. This has been hurting me for a while now. I grew up (with them of course) visiting grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles weekly. There were Sunday dinners, Saturday nights when my parents and their brothers and sisters went out while we had babysitters. Living in the same town or close by it was always about family. We were each others friends, network, alliance etc. Holidays? It was just known where we were going to be. This is not how my brothers are choosing to live now. I understand they have wives and they do with their families, but our family is just getting ignored. I truely believe it is not intentional, but it still hurts. I believe they just think we have a strong family and will be there in the end. I don't think they realize that in the end...we might not have that connection that took years to build. Anyway...at this point in my life...I now will do as they do. I will take care of My family (husband and kids) and not set myself up for disappointment. It will have to be up to them to realize how important it is to try and stick together...and in the end...if they don't...I will not have wasted hours and days trying to glue us together. I am not going to play games but I refuse to be a door mat anymore.

I really felt okay about this and now I am sad again...but I know it is best for me to move on.