My Brother-in-law Darrin

He is engaged. We are so excited for him! She is a really nice girl. They are so inlove right now and it is obvious. They will be married in November of 2009. They asked DH to be the bestman and the girls to be flowergirls. They also asked Braydon to be the ring bearer. There will be 2 other flower girls and another ringbearer. Lot's of kids! I hope they know what they got into!
We are looking forward to exciting times!

food journal

today i will keep track of what i eat.
2 cups of coffee with fat free creamer
1 egg omlet with spinach and mushrooms
salad with cucumbers peppers and cesar dressing with crutons and bacon bits
and now i am eating an apple.

i really want the brownie that is on my counter...just maybe the kids will get to it before me.

So, I think I am getting ahold on my feelings about my family. My brothers to be exact. Right now they are cought up in "their" lives and seem not to have time for anything but their own. This has been hurting me for a while now. I grew up (with them of course) visiting grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles weekly. There were Sunday dinners, Saturday nights when my parents and their brothers and sisters went out while we had babysitters. Living in the same town or close by it was always about family. We were each others friends, network, alliance etc. Holidays? It was just known where we were going to be. This is not how my brothers are choosing to live now. I understand they have wives and they do with their families, but our family is just getting ignored. I truely believe it is not intentional, but it still hurts. I believe they just think we have a strong family and will be there in the end. I don't think they realize that in the end...we might not have that connection that took years to build. Anyway...at this point in my life...I now will do as they do. I will take care of My family (husband and kids) and not set myself up for disappointment. It will have to be up to them to realize how important it is to try and stick together...and in the end...if they don't...I will not have wasted hours and days trying to glue us together. I am not going to play games but I refuse to be a door mat anymore.

I really felt okay about this and now I am sad again...but I know it is best for me to move on.

what's in it?

ok, I will share...not to bad actually...

my wallet, my makeup bag(yes i actually do wear makeup sometimes, my phone, floss, and a pile of receipts under my makeup bag. some keys and some medicine for my finger( 2 kinds actually)

what's in your bag?

Thankfully, I cleaned out my bag yesterday...well, organized the mess anyway. I have to have a big enough bag that I can fit diapers and wipes in (though I didn't have any today in there-braydon is lucky he didn't need one!)

blah blah blah

I have not been good about updating. Don't know what to write really. Lately I have been working out, gave up alcohol for lent and eating...well ok. I must just be a pig. Not losing a darn thing. This really frustrates me. I just want to see a little difference. One pound. That would be nice. No really, I would like to drop a total of 30. I just developed pictures from Erika's Christening. I looked great. I Know I felt great...she was 5 weeks old and I look more pregnant now then I did then. Baily makes her communion in April...I would like to drop 10 pounds by then. that gives me 6 weeks. It can be done. I know it can. I just have to really be strict.

Wow, I had no idea I could ramble so much about that. but these are the things that go through my head...at least 5 times a day i think all that to myself. So...I will do something about it. what a waste of time to think the same thing over and over, and that subject none the less.

gotta go for now.

Mother Knows Best

Yep. My mother knows me the best. She can tell if I am sad or mad even when I am trying to cover it up. We have this connection. We end up making the same things for dinner. She lives in Florida and will tell me she is making chili for dinner tonight and mine is already cooking in the crock pot. For christmas this year we got each other the same christmas present. A Garmin. She will ask me if things are ok between me and dh even before knowing we just had a huge blow out. I attribute this all to actually building our relationship over time. As much as she knows me best, I think I Know her better then anyone too, even my father. So, my mom would be the person that knows me best. Thank Goodness!